I feel tired.

This feeling stems from multiple origins. I can’t exactly pinpoint what is making me feel tired, but I can gather that it is probably a mix of work, life, relationships, problems.

Am I depressed? I surely hope not.

The weather today isn’t helping either – rainy days always evoke my darker, inner self. When this inner self surfaces, it can really spoil my mood, though I try really hard to hide it. I really hate this feeling.

It’s a rather paradoxical situation here actually. I am feeling so tired and sian, and I hate it, and yet somehow I seem to “enjoy” the state I am in. Strangely, I have no answers for this, and I have learned to accept it since I’ve felt like this as a young kid. I wonder why.

Being alone has always been a problem for me - I used to hate being alone. Have you ever heard the sound of silence? The high-pitched sound of nothing-ness that fills your head just before you sleep or when you’re alone? That eerie sound of silence that I hear right now, an accompaniment to the sound of me tapping on my keyboard?

Yet I like it. Stupid idiot bantering about stupid weather, and yet he says he likes it. Moron.

I don’t care. I am tired.